The Transformative Power of Therapeutic Mentoring
By Mentor Cody Wollitz
Learn. Heal. Thrive.
These three simple words are at the heart of Gateway Mountain Center’s philosophy, but they also mirror the path that my mentee and I traveled together over a remarkable 40-month journey as part of the Whole Hearts, Minds & Bodies therapeutic mentoring program.
Learn: I first heard about Gateway from a friend who urged me to become a mentor in an innovative youth development program that supported thousands of young people every year in connecting with nature. My prior experience as an ESL teacher, wilderness therapy guide and international youth program leader helped secure me the interview, and I thought I could be a good fit. But it wasn’t until I met my mentee and began working with him that I began to learn what being a mentor truly means.
The core of every mentee and mentor relationship is connection and trust. Developing this authentic relationship between the mentee and mentor takes time and dedication, and it is the key to the success of Gateway’s therapeutic mentoring process. Authentic relationship is actually the first component of our fundamental 4Roots Method, providing a young person with the necessary space to learn, ask questions, challenge themselves, and often fail forward, with the goal of becoming self-aware and finding successes in their lives.
During the first few months my mentee and I built a strong rapport, in large part by meeting him where he was and letting him lead most of our activities, sometimes bending game rules to make it exciting. The main thing I learned is the importance of showing up and continuing to show up, even when things get tough. Having the steady presence of a positive, caring adult role model is what higher-need youth truly want and need.
Heal: When my mentee started the program he was in foster care. Like most all Whole Heart mentees, he needed support beyond Whole Hearts as well. Whether it is behavioral, mental health, or substance use issues or trauma, the youth Gateway serves are struggling in significant ways. My mentee was no different. He often got in fights at school, blatantly refused to listen to adult instructions and struggled mightily with the widespread challenges many individuals endure due to being adopted at a young age.
The significant challenges my mentee faced during his early developmental years made his ability to connect with peers, teachers and his family nearly impossible. The challenges he faced simply trying to exist were significant. For instance, I offered up a goal for him during one of our early sessions, to support him in improving the frequency of compliance with adult requests, to shift that compliance from 0 out of 10 times to 6 out of 10. As his mentor I had to do something and be someone different than the other influences in his life. My job was not only to support him through his learning and growth, but to also help him begin to heal.
Gateway’s philosophy on healing partially stems from the growing field of “nature as medicine.” Years of experience, common sense and research shows that being outdoors, surrounded by trees and plants, and breathing fresh air is beneficial. Recent research indicates that nature can also be an effective alternative to conventional medical approaches. Whole Hearts was created from this intrinsic understanding, and as a mentor I used nature and every other tool in my toolkit to support the natural healing that not only my mentee needed, but also what most youth today crave.
In the course of our therapeutic relationship we’ve had many memorable and fun experiences. We built a gigantic snow cave in his front yard. We learned how to snowboard up at Boreal and deal with the physical and emotional toll that required, and we went mountain biking at Truckee Bike Park and Tahoe Donner. These sessions all were exhilarating and got us outside for high-level fun. However, when I asked him what he enjoyed best, his answer surprised me. He said he enjoyed the great outdoor adventure, but what he really liked was the creative projects that we had built together. What really supported his healing was making the time to collaborate on the things he wanted to do, building a fort or crafting a gift for his family, all of which occurred with firm boundaries and without judgment.
Thrive: Earlier this fall, after more than 100 sessions, my mentee and I had our final meeting. It was bittersweet for me, having worked with him since first starting at Gateway four years ago, after the challenge of getting to know him, supporting him through 2 new schools, navigating a global pandemic and simply learning to successfully deal with the ups and downs in a rapidly changing world. In that time we were a constant presence in each other’s lives, and he literally grew up in front of my eyes. Not only is he taller than me now, but he has become a confident young man who is making new friends, playing instruments, completing assignments on time and generally thriving in his new town and school!
During our final few sessions my mentee seemed far more like a peer than a young boy who was struggling to find his way and grasping for help. He had begun walking and talking with a confidence that I had never witnessed. He understood how things outside our control and our personal wellbeing can make a single activity easier or more challenging on any given day and how those variables can change from day to day or even by the hour. His perseverance and ability to challenge himself was palpable. He provided directions on where to go and how to get there–even to a stranger who was lost. It was crystal clear that he was ready to graduate.
Youth are capable of almost anything. It is our role as adults and caregivers to guide in a way that nourishes their passions and ideas, while also being a person they can turn to for compassion, accountability and support. Nature-based therapeutic mentoring is one very powerful answer to youth in our post-pandemic world. And it not only positively shapes the life of a mentee, but it also enriches the life of the mentor. Therapeutic mentoring is an opportunity for everyone to Learn, Heal and Thrive!
Spotlight
on Zack Wise
Three years ago Zack was a mentee in our WHMB program. He has grown from receiving support to offering supervised peer support, and to now leading groups on his own. He was further promoted to a Wellness lead employee, and received a scholarship from our partner Continuity Consulting, Inc. to become a California state-recognized certified peer support specialist.
Go, Zack! We are so grateful for your presence and contribution!
Are you, or is someone you know, ready to become a therapeutic mentor?
Mentorship with a caring non-parental adult is an important bridge for young people in finding their way into the broader world, to expand beyond their status as a child in their family system and culture and to begin to discover possible roles for themselves that contribute to the health and wellbeing of self, family and community as well as the greater good. A mentor is both a model and a guide in that transition.
Mentoring activates skills needed for adult life, allowing individuals to learn, test and grow into their skills within the safety and security of caring human connection instead of plunging into the unknown headfirst with a high risk of getting lost along the way. Mentoring is support for a healthy developmental process of generating the self-awareness and internal resources necessary in order to face the challenges of life. It is central to everything we do at Gateway—from teaching outdoor adventure skills and environmental science curricula to supporting recovery from trauma or substance dependency.
Therapeutic mentoring through our Whole Hearts, Bodies & Minds program serves young people struggling with the most significant challenges. They are often from underserved communities. The life-affirming rewards of seeking, finding and deepening into connection are substantial for mentee and mentor alike.